When you are a mother of three and run your own business, it’s easy to forget about yourself and your own well-being. Everything has higher priority: family, clients, customers…
And while you are always exhausted, you feel you don’t have time to do anything for yourself, or anything just for fun. Especially if you’re lucky enough to be healthy, you might feel everything can be done “later”.
You might also feel guilty if you do something for yourself.
It feels selfish, too.
I am not an exception either. I know these feelings very well.
Just earlier this week, I had a discussion with a few fellow colleagues and told them that I spend over twenty hours every week driving the kids to their afternoon classes and home.
And of course, I work, too.
Every morning, my day starts at six am. I prepare breakfast and get everyone ready for school/preschool, then sit down to work at seven, until afternoon when I have a “taxi driving” break, a few hours that I spend with the kids — in the car and then home.
And when they are finally in bed in the evening, I sit back to my laptop and work a few hours again. (Thanks god for remote work and being self-employed!)
No question I always feel exhausted.
No question sometimes my performance goes down close to zero.
And when I do something “just for fun” that seems to be time wasted, because I could do so many “useful” things instead.
You know the feeling, right?
Earlier this year I got to the point and decided: I need some change.
I started with indoor cycling this May, but after about two months into it I realized it is not for me. Yes, first I enjoyed it, finally doing some exercises, as well as watching movies while spinning. I think I watched more movies in the gym than in my whole life before — but soon it got very boring. I mean, super boring.
I tried hard but really, it did not work.
So I decided to try something else.
In July, I started running.
And I ran more and more every week in August. I was slow like a turtle in sand but at least, I was moving.
As a next step, I also decided to go to a gym twice a week early September.
I found an amazing personal trainer, too, and now I exercise with him two times a week — plus I run two or three times a week, too.
And then in October, finally I started to see a progress. I lost weight, I lost many centimeters around my waist and thighs.
And I can run longer and faster, too.
But it’s an interesting thing.
Am I a runner now?
Or a gym-person?
When you can say you have a “new habit”?
Someone says it takes 30 days. Others say it is at least 90 days until something becomes a new habit.
I don’t know the answer for sure…
What I know is, however, that my life has changed a lot in the last few months, for its better.
I lost weight, yes. My waist, hip and thighs are leaner, yes.
I feel better, stronger and more energized than ever.
Do I feel guilty about this, you might ask.
To be honest, sometimes yes, I still do.
But only when I consider the time spent in the gym or on the trails, and compare to what else could I have done meanwhile (do the laundry, write a white paper, do 2 hours of consulting, cook a dinner for the family, etc.).
But as soon as I focus on the benefits I get (and my family gets, too!), it’s not guilt or worry anymore.
I feel good. I feel proud and energized.
Now I know I can live a better life. For myself, and also for my family.
Time spent well is much more than time spent with “useful” things.
Still long way to go. But now, after a looooooooong time, I feel I’ve found my way.
And I feel I can do it.
And it’s such a good feeling!